See what I mean...

He's kind of an asshole:

Screwing

Parker loves to screw.
Anything he can get his hands on.

I'm not entirely kidding. He does love to screw. Screw on lids. Of containers. That boy can sit for almost an hour with a milk jug and the lid screwing and unscrewing. He isn't really picky either. Pepsi bottles, spice containers, water bottles, and pretty much anything else that has a cap. So yesterday when he was throwing a fit at the grocery store and I desperately needed to stay and finish shopping, I bought a Gatorade and dumped it out just so that little jerk could screw...in peace!

Ew

I never want to forget the cuteness of this:

Gracie "I just puked in my mouth a little bit, and then I drank it."

Da Huz

Sheesh. I can't believe Jeff forgot today was our 746th day anniversary!
I'm not really into mind games, but asking Jeff "do you know what today is?" is one of my favorites. That look on his face. The "oh shit" look. It's really hard to keep a strait face. Especially when I tell him exactly what day it is.

Here is a short list of the oh so special days he has forgotten:
The anniversary of our first email exchange
The anniversary of our first kiss T
he anniversary of the day I first thought I might be pregant, maybe...
The anniversary of the day we found out I was pregnant
The___th day since I have seen my mom
The ___th day of summer, and only___days until school starts again
My new washer-and-dryer "adoption" anniversary.
The anniversary of the first time we left all the kids with a babysitter
The anniversary of the first time he sent me flowers
I assure you the list goes on!

Oh, and I get the same look when he walks in from work and I say "we need to talk."I love my husband. He makes me laugh every single day. I have smiled at him every morning for the last 746 days. I love him more than I did the day I married him. He still gives me goosebumps and butterflies. I still can't wait for him to come home from work everyday. He still can't keep his hands off me, and he still calls me a dozen times a day. We never fight. Really we don't. Nobody believes me, but it's true. Sure we snap at eachother, but never argue Sometimes I wonder when this is all going to end. When are the feelings going to fade? How long is the "honeymoon" going to last? Am I safe? Am I going to absolutely adore him forever? I hear about people getting divorced after 5, 10, 15, 25 years of marriage and it makes me wonder. When did they stop loving eachother?? Are my fears warranted? I hope not. I could never love anyone other than Jeff, and noone could love me like he does. He rocks my world...you know even though he doesn't remember the exact number of times we've had sex.

Conversations with Parker

Parker has an ever expanding vocabulary. It seems like every hour he is saying something new. One of his first words was ball. "Ba," he says at the sight of anything round. Parker also has the tendency to get stuck on a word. Take for example the following conversation:

Me: Oh look Parker look at the cat! Can you say cat?
Parker: Ba

Me: Cat. Say cat
Parker: Ba

Me: Cat
Parker: Ba

Me: Whatever. Can you say dog?
Parker: Ba

Me: Dog. Dog
Parker: Ba

Me: Dog
Parker: Ba

Me: What about baby. Let me hear you say baby!
Parker Ba

Me: You've said it before. BAYBEEE. Say baby
Parker: Ba

Me: Say Mom
Parker: Ba

Me: Say Dad
Parker: Ba

Me: Say Bye Bye
Parker: Ba

Me: Say Banana
Parker: Ba

Me: Fine, I'll go get you the ball. Say ball
Parker: Do (Dog)

Later in the evening I was getting Parker ready for a bath. I was asking him to point to different body parts, with no response. Everything. Eyes, nose, ears, tummy, feet. Only a blank stare. Then I say "Parker where's your dingy?" He promptly grabs ahold of his package and giggles with delight!See what I'm dealing with?

Never

Here is a short list of things that would never come out of my mouth:
"I love getting up at 6 am."
"Oooh! Make me a sandwich with cold meat!"
"I love being pregnant!"
"I love breastfeeding a giant toddler!"
"I wish I had more laundry to do."
"I hate having a job and feeling productive."
"Sure, I'd love extra tomatoes on my salad."
"Gee, I wish I had more time to watch My Super Sweet 16!"
"No thanks. I don't need a pedicure."
"I think it is so cool how strangers point out that my "hands must be full.""
"I never surf the internet mindlessly."
"I hate Cocoa Pebbles."
"I wish I was pregnant right now."
"Don't bother putting your dishes in the sink."
"Dogs are awesome, I wish I had three!"
"I love it when people count my kids at Fred Meyer."
"Gosh the sink has NO dishes in it."
"Weird. You kids are being soooo quiet!"
"I wish more people would whistle!"
"You kids sit back and relax while I do the dishes."
"We should watch Spongebob Squarepants!"
"Let's watch the Hannah Montana marathon!"
"I have too much clothes!"
"Summer sucks, I can't wait for winter."
"We should get a puppy."
"There just aren't enough coffee stands around here."
"I love hearing you kids bicker!"
"Who wants another cupcake?"
"Cooking for 8 is my favorite thing to do!"
"I love my body!!"
"I love to exercise!"
"I have way too much free time!"
"Craigslist? What's Craigslist??"
"I wish more strangers would ask me if I was running some sort of school."
"I love when people ask me if we are on foodstamps or welfare."
"I just can't get enough of the kids screaming my name!"
"I am so happy the baby learned how to yell MOM."
"I am a MILF!"
"Gee honey. You are so talented, the way you add fart noises to every song on the radio."
"I get so much accomplished during the day!"
"Humming is a talent!"
"I would never leave Alaska."
"People from Wasilla are so classy."

Motha's day

Mother's day was this weekend. I have never felt more blessed or loved in my entire life. I woke up at 10 minutes to 7 with 2 of the most adorable boys in my bed. Miles and Parker. Miles was behind me with his head resting on my shoulder softly scratching my back. Parker was nuzzled up to my tummy sleeping soundly. Miles had to remind me to stay in bed for a really long time. I managed to stay for about 10 minutes. I have to be up by 7 to have 6 kids ready for church by 10:30. When I made it up to the kitchen and dining room I was greeted with decorations and posters and flowers. It was so darn sweet seeing their little handmade posters and cards scotch taped to the wall. They made me a breakfast that was edible and coffee that was even better! They presented me with all their gifts. Grace found an Easter egg in the woods behind our house that she cleaned and wrapped for me. Miles planted a sunflower in a pot for me and made me a "super awesome" keychain. Jordan painted some daisies for me. Hannah made a scrapbook with pictures of all the kids for me. Katelin was home safely from her trip in D.C. As I opened each present, I could see their little faces light up. I remember that feeling. I remember watching my mom open presents from us and having that horrible nagging feeling that she was going to be disappointed. No matter what it was she always loved it. Even if they were Christmas bulb earrings. So it was really exciting for me to have the roles reversed and watch them fill with pride at the treasure they had given me.For the first time ever, I think, we made it to church early. The service was good. They had little mothers day games a the beginning. I was sure that I was going to be the mother with the most kids at home. Nope. Some crazy old woman has 11. About halfway between the sermon I walked out with my screaming toddler. It dawned on me that I don't think I have heard an entire sermon in 4 and a half years. Oh well one day. One day I'll get to sit through and entire church service. The important thing is that I am bringing the kids...right?We spent the rest of the day just hanging out. I even got to take a nap. Jeff took the kids and I out to supper at Golden Corral. I was kind of bummed by this choice because it seems like so much work for me. Constantly escorting kids to the buffet and clearing their plates out of the way. But Jeff rocked. He made sure I got to actually sit and eat an entire plate of food. The best thing was I only ended up cleaning up one spilled drink!Later that night Katelin presented me with her present. She had scraped and saved, and even resisted buying little trinkets in D.C. so she could buy me a necklace. A real one that came in a box. It had six itty bitty little diamonds on it. One for each kid. She was really proud of herself. And I was proud of her too. She really is a sweet girl. I went to bed that night feeling incredibly blissful. I am so lucky to have the husband I have. He is an amazing father and husband. He never lets me down. He never makes me sit and wish about the things I wish he would have done. He has done an awesome job at teaching these kids to put others first. Teaching them how to love. I finally feel like a mother. And I love it.