Kate

dropped Katelin off at the airport last night. She is going to spend a week in D.C. with 25 other kids from her school. It is really hard to put into words the way I am feeling right now. For the last 2 years I have poured my entire being into mothering her. Technically I am her step-mother. But I treat her like my own daughter. I love her like my own daughter. I worry about her like my own daughter. I haven't spent any amount of extended time away from her since the moment I married her dad. I have kissed her goodnight everynight for the last 2 years. But... since I did not give birth to her, my mothering instincts aren't as intense as they should be. Like when she throws up, I am not biologically thrown into the mode of caretaker/puke cleaner upper like I am when Grace tosses her cookies. It takes me a second, that's all. So when she left last night I was curious as to how much I was going to worry about her. Well I have worried a lot. I had the hardest time falling asleep. And when I did fall asleep I tossed and turned and woke up over and over. I kept wondering exactly where she was in the air. I worry that she ate a good breakfast this morning. I worry that someone is picking on her. I worry that some greasy old man is ogling her body. I worry that she is going to turn around and see her entire group has dissapeared. My mind is racing!!! I guess that's a good thing though. Maybe I am more of a mother than I thought I was. Man I am going to miss that little girl!